All I Want for Christmas

Merry Christmas,

I cannot believe it, once again the holiday season finds us with no reasons to be jolly. All I wanted for Christmas this year was for us three to be healthy, happy, to finally be granted our visa, and with it the ability to work hard, and pay taxes, and contribute to our community here in England, to repay those who have given so much to us, to finally be able to live, to create our art inspired by the UK, to enjoy this season after so many years of hellish fighting. But,  I fear our battle with the Home Office has finally destroyed us, we can take no more. I am bruised, battered, beaten and have no hope left for ever regaining our lives, we have lost too much, we have experienced too much - we will never be the same. We are now to face forced 'voluntary' leave, to lose the lives we have fought so hard to save here, and not only are we forced to leave, but to be banned from returning for years, for the crime of fighting for our visa in the face of much turmoil, pain and desperation.  To leave behind the only family we now have, our friends here in the UK. We are being exiled for the crime of loving Great Britain and the temerity of fighting for it.

Of no matter were repeated submissions of medical evidence of my ever diminishing health, of my severe headaches, blackouts, sensory disturbances, severe back pain (that after all we have been thru now has me in a wheelchair should I need to go anywhere), PTSD symptoms (from being homeless and lost - read in older posts) severe anxiety, dangerous depression, nightmares, claustrophobia and unfortunately more medical issues I don't feel comfortable sharing , not a bit of care for the story of my traumatic family past that I painfully shared , and the loss of 5 immediate family members in the time we have been here, no compassion to my begging and pleading, of crying, of sharing all of our distressing story, no matter that we lost everything we spent our whole lives building - absolutely everything, as if a fire swept through our lives, there was no matter that we were forced to live rough, amongst criminals and drug addicts, particularly distressing and dangerous in the winter, no matter that we are shells of the people we once were, that there was no hope in the face of naively submitting immigrant volunteer programs ideas I was excited about and my sincere gushing of love for this country, it's people, it's culture (which was mocked), no account taken of poetry sent in a panic - meant to show our dedication to the inspiration of our adopted home, no difference that we have been here nearly 10 years - and it is our home!, That I told them this situation was killing me, their response was to the point - 'there is no proof you will actually die'.  Touche'

No amount of anything has helped though we despair and now Boo is not well. Boo has been my carer, my companion, my baby - she is now nearly 14 years old and needs ongoing medical care. Our story gets more and more difficult to tell each year and what we need is a Christmas miracle.

Regardless this post is about helping us to help Boo and rebuild.

If you would like to help Boo, please see the link below

https://www.gofundme.com/menyouandboo
https://www.gofundme.com/menyouandboo

I had started this gofundme months ago but did not actively seek donors due to embarrassment for our situation. But now we need all the help we can get.